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the founding of jimini crickets is a complicated and mind numbingly confusing story. It all started when an extremely inebriated
walt disney,stumbled upon old sketches of his beloved disney cartoon character Jiminy Cricket. unfourtunately, walt was very
depressed and was completely insane because of his slow decline from the public eye. Walt was however determined to regain
his fame, and set out to create a super band, with subliminal messages embeded in their music,so that an unsuspecting nation
would be victim to a marketing plan of epic proportions. But walt didn't have enough money for all the equipment so he scrapped
that part. He still created the greatest band known to man.Walt decided that he would use Uber stupid,impossibly unrealistic
super awesome looking human creating machine..... He started of by creating Collin. Collin, who was the smoothest,loved to
hit things, the problem with this was that Collin seemed to always hit Walt in the testicles.this was problematic when emerson
was born as well because collin also hit his testicles, but Walt found that testicles can easily be replaces with drums. The
second born was Emerson,who is also the funkiest, Emerson loved to move his hands up and down. This was subject to some....more....primitive
activities, but Walt quickly found that a guitar solved the problem quite nicely. the last to be born was also the best looking.
Scott was always very rythmic and loved to play bass, this was perfect for Walt's band. the boys were obviously very stupid
and illeterate, so they didn't spell Jimini Crickets correctly.They decided it wasn't worth the effort to change the name
so they stuck with it. then they decided that walt wasn't necessary for their success,so they slipped some sleeping powder
into walts long-island iced tea. however this was were it all went wrong, they planned to bury walt alive and feed him weekly
for the rest of his life, but emerson had put cocaine in the iced tea instead of a sleeping powder, so walt overdosed on cocaine.
this was the beggining of the super-awesome band, named Jimini Crickets......
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